So here I am. Big whoop.

Before you say anything, I’d like to see YOU typing on an iPhone with hooves the size of dinner plates. Typos are inevitable, and if you don’t like them, ¬†you can take your business elsewhere,

Now that we have the niceties out of the way, let me tell you about myself. I’m bronze, 7100 lbs, born and raised in NYC. My Twitter is @TheWallStBull. I’ll be blogging in between suffering indignities from tourists and eating bagels, the latter being one of my favorite activities.

Don’t expect anything profound, okay?